Coaching someone on how to react when they learn their loved one has been arrested and put into jail is near impossible. For one, no one anticipates such a call or has time to prepare themselves on how to react when they get the call. Secondly, it is such a heavy situation that all kinds of emotions will run high and low. Each person has a different personality and demeanor. Each defendant’s arrest situation will be different. Here are some tips we like to provide our clients with that might help you guide how you react when you pick your loved one up from jail after bailing him or her out.
- Express relief and be sure to show your love and support. More than likely, your loved one will already feel embarrassed, ashamed, and absolutely disgusted with him or herself and the overall situation. They will need your support.
- Release verbal anger only when you are in private. Avoid lashing out at him or her in front of others. That is not going to do anyone any good and there is no point in making him or her feel more embarrassed and ashamed than he or she already is. Plus, it makes everyone else feel awkward and uncomfortable.
- Offer your advice on how to best move forward and prepare for the next few days and weeks. Suggest therapy or counseling. If he or she is responding well to your advice, offer to do some research and help him or her get in touch.
- Spend more time with him or her. This is a big way to show your love and support, but it also lets you keep a closer eye on him or her and see that he or she does not get into additional trouble. You can also look out for signs if he or she is still feeling rotten.
- Remind him or her that this was just a one-time mistake, and not a true reflection of the type of person that he or she really is. The type of person that he or she really is, is a good, honest person. This arrest is not the end of his or her life.
There is no predicting what exactly will happen from the moment you bail your loved one out of jail, but we do hope things run as smoothly and progressively as possible.